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Single Summer

by Ryan Chapin Mach

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1.
Weird 02:44
I am stuck and boarded up For four long months with people bored with love Yeah, no one on the corner is as bored as us I got weird, but everybody here thought I was weird for years But they're still listening, even if it isn't what they want to hear So put me down, put me down, I just might find it better if You think I'm worthless So swag me out, swag me out, the only thing I'm not getting better at is being a better person.
2.
Incisions 04:31
Tired, so bored and quietly tired More tired by the minute, more tired by the sentence, we were sentenced to live by the things we do. Well the snow blew by and the snow blew by, by a bright blue sky, there was nothing to do but barely belong to you. The car's hot and the knowledge that I should have been walking It makes me nauseous, it makes me nauseous, I got over feeling awful or got over trying to. People own my time, yeah, they own my time, so I compromised, as there was nothing to do but barely belong to you. Stick stick sticky from far too many, far, far too many sweaty, intimate collisions. These intimate decisions are easy when the incision's not deep. Bet me, bet me someday you'll get me dead-set on settling, whatever that means, whatever that means. Now my office is perched in between coffee and cotton and I can't stop starting or I can't start stopping. Either I've gotten sloppy or I've thought it all through. I've never liked being touched, I don't like being touched, at least not that much, but there was nothing to do but barely belong to you. And there's hardly any comfort or pain in parting, I can't say sorry, no I won't say sorry which makes me feel odd because I always do. I don't mind being sad, it's not all that bad, if I could just feel bad but there's nothing to do but barely belong to you. Stick stick sticky from far too many, far, far too many sweaty, intimate collisions. These intimate decisions are easy when the incision's not deep. Bet me, bet me someday you'll get me dead-set on settling, whatever that means, whatever that means.
3.
Stay in touch, unless you never liked me all that much But I'm sure you'll remember You'll wise up and when I tell a bad joke you'll all crack up Yeah, I'm sure you'll remember You know where to find me, I'm not hiding, hi, your timing sure is great. Oh, I'm not really smiling, I'm just finally finding that even my friendships are fake. But you're not perfect. You're not perfect. Hey, nobody's perfect! But I'm getting pretty close. Stay in touch, don't give me any news unless it's good I'm sure you'll remember I'm stuck-up, only as much as put-down people should Be, yeah I'm sure you remember The evidence of absence of manic-patterned actions all fell through. When, tragically, I happened to proudly chatter a mixed and mastered point of view But I'm not perfect. I'm not perfect. Hey, nobody's perfect, but I'm getting pretty close.
4.
"I was so set on saving you. I guess I need saving too." I said as I laid in my bed by myself but clearly addressing you. "Sometimes trust requires proof, it's gotta be based on something new" were the words that I heard in my head in your voice, demanding it be listened to. We're both good people, God just doesn't know. He's never at home, but I hear Him sometimes before I hang up the phone it's True, we just get more Bloo when we hear the truth, so I won't tell you I love you "How will you ever forgive yourself," someone said, explaining how I felt. So I stupidly stared through the glass at the back of someone's empty trailer. "Why would anyone trust you again? You like yourself less than even you admit. And though it's been said in the past, it's unclear if we ever forgave us." We're both good people, God just doesn't know. He's never at home, but I hear Him sometimes before I hang up the phone it's True, we just get more Bloo when we hear the truth, so I won't tell you I love you
5.
Barely Cool 03:33
Barely sad, I'm barely sad Just enough to act modestly As if I wanted modesty They all know what honest means They just don't see it on me I'm barely cool, I'm barely cool It's that "act cool" cool act, That "barely follows rules" act That "no one's ever fooled" act But you already knew that I've been barely cool for a while "Cool" with a wink and a smile But I'm cooler than you, cooler than you are With or without buzz I've barely started and this is barely hard for me I'll stop myself if nobody else does Barely mad, I'm barely mad Oh, bitterness is different, It's hit or miss with listeners So I limit the risk with That symptomatic distance I'm barely dead, I'm barely dead Unless I misuse barely, Which I confuse with "buried" Cause all I'm doing's staring, My attitude just scares me. I've been barely cool for a while "Cool" with a wink and a smile But I'm cooler than you, cooler than you are With or without buzz I've barely started and this is barely hard for me I'll stop myself if nobody else does
6.
Slow Talker 03:31
Someone's dying in the living room but I think he's faking. We look alike but that is not my body, God, that is not my body, God can't come and take me. Back when I was dishonest it was harder to break me. Someone's sick in the kitchen but I think he just needs sleep. We all get sad sometimes when we get tired, oh, how we all get tired, we all hear things we can't see. Insanity isn't started by panicking, no it can't be! Call me a doctor I'll have nuthing, nuthing, nothing, nuthing to do. I'm a slow talker, I need minutes past this, lying on my back with just another best friend, just another friend to use. Something was happening in the hallway but I think it's over. I could have stopped it if I really wanted, oh God, I wish I'd stopped it but God wanted me to come clean. Back when I was dishonest it was harder to hate me. Someone wants me in the attic but she isn't sober. Sobbing softly, no, she does not want me, she just likes to haunt me, I just have to ignore her. I've never seen her but she sounds like I know her. Call me a doctor I'll have nuthing, nuthing, nothing, nuthing to do. I'm a slow talker, I need minutes past this, lying on my back with just another best friend, just another friend to use.
7.
So Smart 03:44
Dreaming through days, the sky is overcast and a real backstabber of a photograph graces the bed frame. Do nothing, I do nothing, I'm so smart that way I start to laugh, to act uncomfortable, my wine-drunk kindness isn't wonderful, so I gave it a pen name. Don't like you, but I try to, I'm so smart that way P.S.: I know it's all in my head P.S.: I know it's all in my head I'm writing friends, dead-ends, and (as always) lazily sashaying through the hallways with a Buzz Lightyear backpack. I'm funny and make no money, I'm so smart like that. Nothing really matters between being plastered, my laugh's the last word. Life's such a hassle and I'm such an asshole, I'm just an asshole.
8.
Patterns 04:12
Everyone appreciates a pattern, I think Brains that come scattered aren't attractive, are we? Everyone will mediate between a tightening vice and their absent-minded fingers in parentheses My bottom line is that I'm dying Oh my my my mind You told me you're sorry for being crazy Please baby, don't hate me for saying That I wasn't listening but the voices get distracting sometimes Lectures on a textbook guilty conscience I responded "no contest," I'm honest: It's partly my privilege that causes me to shake and unpreditably cry, that's why Everyone appreciates a pattern, I think Brains that come scattered aren't attractive, are we? Everyone will mediate between a tightening vice and their absent-minded fingers in parentheses My bottom line is that I'm dying I would never want to seem dependent But I'm pent with this endless contentment I'm just afraid of when you feel how hard I'm leaning on us We wish we were typical in one sense, Now your sundress has unveiled your undress While I get measured up for a jacket that restricts any use of my arms Everyone appreciates a pattern, I think Brains that come scattered aren't attractive, are we? Everyone will mediate between a tightening vice and their absent-minded fingers in parentheses My bottom line is that I'm dying Everyone else never sweats such sad things They're off on a typicality, off on a typicality My bottom line is that I'm dying Everybody misses what they don't have I'm missing what I won't have My bottom line is that I'm dying
9.
That Evening 04:29
Well it's alright by me if we never have to speak, 'cuz all the off-time and all the breeze reminds me of how quietly you breathe Dirty hands from climbing trees behind some busy, unaware football teams. I used to stand on what I used to dream, now as I lie awake my hands are clean. I'm no good at sleeping, I'm barely good at breathing, but both of them are easy when I drink. "Should I be less funny more?" "Is this fun or am I bored?" I don't have to listen to me think. You turn the lights off, you get in bed (now the dark stops telling me I'm dead). Staring upwards in your bed at an anything with her still in my head. I'm no good at leaving, I'm barely good at sleeping, but both of them are easy when I drink. "Should I be less funny more?" "Is this fun or am I bored?" I don't have to listen to me think.
10.
You-niverse 03:14
The whole ride home it smelled like lavender You let me sit like a passenger Your mother thought that you were mad at her I couldn't have asked for better company And though I wish we had some clarity I'm very glad that you were there with me I am nothing at all And you are everything and more That's why they call it the You-niverse An hour before, you were sitting there across from me You tried your very best to hide your feet I felt them brush up against me knee The very next day, when we met, it didn't feel the same It wasn't something we could replicate. I love you an you can't reciprocate I am nothing at all And you are everything and more That's why they call it the You-niverse That's why they call it the You-nivere.
11.
Happy 05:21
Sometimes I'm perfect Sometimes I'm happy Simply put for simple outlets Yeah I could never ever doubt that So please let me, please let me sleep Some find me perfect Some find me cranky I'm a fan of all the friendship, But I can't say I never missed this What I really wanted was sleep I made the incision myself for hydroperoxide on stainless steel shelves We're stuck with stuck band-aids at best You get what you pay for, maybe a little less Love takes time, that's as much as I'm willing to write Yeah, what a poet am I! I've mastered syntax, I'm willing to die I'm good at turning Or good new leaf burning Holiness is a construct but no one ever forced it on us I just feel wholly asleep You sweep the furnace As I start to furnish Furniture with brittle kindling and everything that might offend me When I find I wasn't asleep I made the incision myself for hydroperoxide on stainless steel shelves We're stuck with stuck band-aids at best You get what you paid for, maybe a little less Love takes time, that's as much as I'm willing to write Yeah, what a poet am I! I've mastered syntax, I'm willing to die

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11 songs I pumped out between June and August of 2011 using a casio, a condenser mic, and pro tools.

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released February 25, 2012

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Ryan Chapin Mach Gambier, Ohio

Bitterness is different, it's hit or miss with listeners, so I limit the risk with that symptomatic distance.

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